The Hidden Business Message in Finding Nemo! By Michelle Shelton, Realtor

In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the sea turtle, "Dude, how do you know when they are ready?" This is an interesting question that many Mentors would like to know. How DO you know when your little fledglings are ready to take on tasks for themselves? The only way to know if your associates are ready for something, is to test them. In the movie you may remember Nemo being in the fish tank and becoming stuck in the air tube, all of the other fish wanted to rescue Nemo from a certain death. All except Gil. Gil could see that Nemo was perfectly capable of getting out of the tube for himself. Nemo on the other hand was told his entire life by his father that he couldn't swim well because he had a bad fin. Nemo promptly relayed this message to Gil. Yet Gil didn't buy it. He could see that Nemo could indeed save himself and he told him so. So what could Nemo do? Nothing. Nothing that is, except, perform. He had to save himself because he had no other choice. He had to get out of the air tube himself or he would die. When put to the test by Gil, Nemo passed with flying colors. He got himself out of the air tube and quickly realized that he COULD do it himself. Gil instantly gave Nemo the gift of self-accomplishment and confidence that his father had unintentionally robbed Nemo of his entire life.

New agents often tell their mentors that they can't perform certain tasks because the new agents hope the more experienced agent will bail them out. Someone is always selling and someone is always buying. When your new associates are selling you on what they can't do, are you buying? Or do you sell them on what they CAN do?

As mentors we must realize that our new agents need to be tested in order to grow. We must allow them to fail on the little things and be there to pick them up when they fall. This is how they learn. This is how they grow.

Nemo's Father Taught us Failure is Necessary for Success!
I think the way you know they are ready is to train them to do a task and then teach them why it is important to be able to do it themselves. Next , turn them lose and allow them some room to fail. That's right, I said fail. My father once told me that failure was necessary for success. "Don't worry about failure," he said, "just make sure you always fail forward."

In order for new agents to develop properly we, as Mentors and Coaches, must allow them room to grow and that means not doing everything for them. Anything you do for your new agents that they can do for themselves will cripple them. I find it interesting that Nemo had a crippled fin and wonder if he was crippled because his father never allowed him to swim very far from home. Because, after all, there are many dangers out in the ocean…like sharks! Nemo's father was so overprotective of him that he didn't give him the skills necessary to develop confidence and the life skills he needed to deal with the dangers of the ocean.

The type of parenting parallels with the same type of Coaching and Mentoring. These Coaches create agents that never learn to get themselves out of a jam. These agents become very dependent on their Mentor or others to bail them out of every situation. These agents may already be dependent adults. Not only do they become extremely dependent on others, they have very little confidence in themselves and their own abilities and often lead a chaotic life.

It is difficult to know when we are being too protective of our new agent, “fledglings” and to know when we must step in and rescue them. I suggest that Coaches and Mentors not only train their new agents how to do something but also give them the "why" behind the training so they instill it in their mind. We must train AND teach them about real estate so they can learn to make good decisions when we are not there to bail them out. Perhaps you have been overprotecting a new agent? How can you change? First ask yourself. Can he do this himself? Is he at the point he can be trained how to do this? Why should he do this himself?

This is the only hope of giving your new agents confidence in their own abilities and making them independent of you. After all, your job as a Mentor and Coach is to teach your agents to be independent of you, not dependent on you!

About the Author: Michelle Shelton, Gilbert, Arizona, Maricopa County michelleshelton@yahoo.com More Details about Real Estate Coaching from Michelle here. Michelle Shelton. Michelle is a licensed REALTOR with Keller Williams Realty Southeast Valley in Gilbert, Arizona. Michelle specializes in teaching clients the entire process of Real Estate. She believes that the more educated her clients are, the less anxiety and stress they will have when buying or selling their home. Michelle lives in Gilbert, Arizona with her husband, Paul and their five children. She specializes in listing East Valley property and her main focus is Horse Properties in Arizona. You can email Michelle directly at Michelleshelton@yahoo.com